Love is perpetually both lost and found. The very same moment our conscious mind recognises love, it also confronts emptiness & loneliness. The feeling of 'fullness' forces us to become aware of our empty spaces too. The bright light of love shows up scars which we diligently spend the rest of our lives ignoring.
When love itself becomes manifested in another human being, even for a moment, it is almost too beautiful to bear. Often it becomes unbearable, so we set about destroying it.
My forthcoming single 'Live Now' (out March 10th on Colour and Pitch) is the product of love and loss, but also the centre of a few coincidences.
I rarely write anything personal about my music, but something rather special happened during the making of this record, something which I feel might be worth sharing:
When I was eleven I fell in love. I fell in love with a girl in a dream so vivid that I found myself remembering it 20 years later. She was wearing a Blue Coat…
Fast forward 20 odd years and that dream suddenly flooded back as I sat in a restaurant with a girl I was falling deeply in love with. I found myself convinced I'd found the girl from my dream; same eyes, same smile. On a sudden whim, I asked her if she'd owned a shiny blue puffa jacket (I know, classy right?) when she was around 9 years old. Turns out it was her favourite coat.
A few days later I wrote a track for her, titled 'Blue Coat'. I sampled an old classical piece I'd written many years before, and the positive energy just flowed; the track was a true labour of love (and joy).
Sadly, but inevitably, the dismantling of that relationship followed soon after, and the track found itself married to some very painful memories. I decided to give it to my dear friend, vocalist and lyricist Matty Eeles to work with, telling her nothing of its origin (or the heartache it stirred up in me). The words and melody Matty came back with were exactly what I needed to hear at the time, helping me find some perspective and strength.
Excited about the new song, I decided to ask a favourite producer, Da Funk, to remix it. I didn't know the man personally, but something told me the track was right for him. When he sent back his mix, titled 'La Boheme', I almost fell off my chair. He had inadvertently given his remix the very same name as the restaurant in which I'd had the sudden thought that the girl sitting opposite me was in fact the girl in the Blue Coat.
Stranger still, when I told Da Funk about the coincidence with his remix title, he told me that when he'd first heard the parts of the original track, he had pictured a tall, willowy, bohemian looking girl in a white dress. He'd pretty much described my ex, right down to the dress she wore that night in La Boheme.
If there is any conclusion to be drawn, I think it really shows that music can serve as a kind of emotional code. The imprint of a certain night and a certain girl somehow became embedded into the very fabric of the music, so much so that a like-minded soul, who had no way of knowing the story, was able to decode it. And by accident too.
I find that thought to be rather wonderful.
Keep loving- the ripples go to realms we can't even comprehend, before coming back to us in the most unexpected and wonderful of ways.
Happy Valentine's Day!
'Live Now' feat. Matty Eeles is released on March 10th exclusively via Beatport, with remixes from Da Funk & Minotaurs.